Very Upset
Yes, I AM very upset.
Why?
I thought I have got over the disappointment of not able to go for the summer course in Jinan.
But when they sent the full participant list, the nationality of the participants tempts me. There are Germans, Frenchmen, Koreans, Japanese, Dutches, Singaporeans, Thais, Russians, Americans... and one of them is even from Yale!
I have always wanted to go on an exchange, even if it's a short one. I wanted to go Germany last year, but the expenses is much too high. Everytime i think of going overseas, I would see my mom's face and her expression. I know it is too much for her to bear. She can afford for me to go but it would be a strain on our finance.
At first, I thought I would not be selected for this course so I wanted to go for the vocal class. I prepare myself to go for the vocal, in fact, I look forward to it. And then, I received the acceptance email. Then I sort of made a "pact" with God. I gave God a dateline, and told him that if it's His Will that I can go, let 5 friends call me. Within that period of time, only 4 called. I took it as a sign that God's Will is for me not to go.
Then I received fellow uni mates asking whether want to book air tickets... then I found out Im not the only Singaporean going. I ignored the mail.
As days go by, news of flooding and high temp and whatsoever diseases that is happening in China came upon me, and it struck me that "so, God knew what would happen, thank God".
Then the full list came... and it makes my heart cries. I really want to go. I want to experience the life in hostel, I want to meet people from other countries, I want to go China. There are so many "I want", so many desires,
but I can't go...
Why?
I thought I have got over the disappointment of not able to go for the summer course in Jinan.
But when they sent the full participant list, the nationality of the participants tempts me. There are Germans, Frenchmen, Koreans, Japanese, Dutches, Singaporeans, Thais, Russians, Americans... and one of them is even from Yale!
I have always wanted to go on an exchange, even if it's a short one. I wanted to go Germany last year, but the expenses is much too high. Everytime i think of going overseas, I would see my mom's face and her expression. I know it is too much for her to bear. She can afford for me to go but it would be a strain on our finance.
At first, I thought I would not be selected for this course so I wanted to go for the vocal class. I prepare myself to go for the vocal, in fact, I look forward to it. And then, I received the acceptance email. Then I sort of made a "pact" with God. I gave God a dateline, and told him that if it's His Will that I can go, let 5 friends call me. Within that period of time, only 4 called. I took it as a sign that God's Will is for me not to go.
Then I received fellow uni mates asking whether want to book air tickets... then I found out Im not the only Singaporean going. I ignored the mail.
As days go by, news of flooding and high temp and whatsoever diseases that is happening in China came upon me, and it struck me that "so, God knew what would happen, thank God".
Then the full list came... and it makes my heart cries. I really want to go. I want to experience the life in hostel, I want to meet people from other countries, I want to go China. There are so many "I want", so many desires,
but I can't go...
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