Fellowship - Experiencing life together
Today's topic on Purpose Driven Life - 18 : Experiencing life together, talks about the aspects of a real fellowship. As I read through this chapter, I couldn't help feeling how close the church falls into the category of having fake fellowship...
The introduction begins with fellowship = shared experience. However, it is mentioned that in today churches, fellowship now refers to casual conversation, socializing, food and fun. "Stay after for fellowship" usually means "Wait for refreshments". Oh, how true can that be! Usually, the chairperson would say "Please stay for fellowship." Well, I believe it refers more likely to the latter (having refreshments) than staying to share experiences.
Size is also important during fellowships. It strikes me about large cell groups. Since size matters, and it is mentioned that 3 or 4 would be a good size and that groups of ten or more defeats the purpose of good fellowship, hmmm... doesn't it really remind one of those large cell groups?
The author brought out 4 aspects of fellowship:
1. In real fellowship people experience authenticity.
It means that people have heart-to-heart talks. There is honesty and sincerity. However, he mentioned that, people today wear masks, keep their guard up and have shallow conversations.
Oh, again, I totally agree!
We would very much like to be honest and open about our lives. But on the other hand, we are worried about people not keeping their mouths shut. There are cases whereby the people you shared with do not keep things to themselves. It may start off with sharing among 3 persons, then it spread to the whole church. People don't like to wash their dirty linen in public. These are meant to be 'secrets', yet some people don't seem to get this idea.
Hence, most of people would put on some form of of mask and act as if everything is fine.
2. In real fellowship people experience mutuality.
Mutuality refers to the act of giving and receiving.
However, most of the people would rather stay on the receiving end without contributing much.
3. In real fellowship people experience sympathy.
The main problem with this is that we are often in a hurry to fix things that we don't have time to sympathize with people.
4. In real fellowship people experience mercy.
Forgiveness forms a key factor.
However, very often, we find it very very difficult to forgive.
We must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends us.
Today, many people carry their grudges to church and well, some actually show it on their faces.
We do not need to trust the person immediately but we must forgive the person right away.
I'm always longing to have a deep sharing session with a couple of friends. I don't want a large group but maybe among friends about 2 to 3. In campus, I joined the Campus Crusade and we do have some time together everyweek. But I think we haven't reach the 'standard' yet.
In church, I feel that the fellowship size is much too big for real sharing sessions. The bible study groups are too large and we have too little time. On saturadays, I feel that the majority of the time is spent on another kind of service format - sermon, praises, prayers... Bible study sessions are much too little and we do not have much chance to learn about each other. Time is always the limiting factor. I feel that when it comes to sharing, time should not be the restricting factor. The restricting factor should be on whether individuals are willing to share, and how much they are willing to share.
Well, I guess that is why fellowship doesn't really seem to 'appeal' to me. To me, I feel that it's just another Sunday afternoon...attending service.
The introduction begins with fellowship = shared experience. However, it is mentioned that in today churches, fellowship now refers to casual conversation, socializing, food and fun. "Stay after for fellowship" usually means "Wait for refreshments". Oh, how true can that be! Usually, the chairperson would say "Please stay for fellowship." Well, I believe it refers more likely to the latter (having refreshments) than staying to share experiences.
Size is also important during fellowships. It strikes me about large cell groups. Since size matters, and it is mentioned that 3 or 4 would be a good size and that groups of ten or more defeats the purpose of good fellowship, hmmm... doesn't it really remind one of those large cell groups?
The author brought out 4 aspects of fellowship:
1. In real fellowship people experience authenticity.
It means that people have heart-to-heart talks. There is honesty and sincerity. However, he mentioned that, people today wear masks, keep their guard up and have shallow conversations.
Oh, again, I totally agree!
We would very much like to be honest and open about our lives. But on the other hand, we are worried about people not keeping their mouths shut. There are cases whereby the people you shared with do not keep things to themselves. It may start off with sharing among 3 persons, then it spread to the whole church. People don't like to wash their dirty linen in public. These are meant to be 'secrets', yet some people don't seem to get this idea.
Hence, most of people would put on some form of of mask and act as if everything is fine.
2. In real fellowship people experience mutuality.
Mutuality refers to the act of giving and receiving.
However, most of the people would rather stay on the receiving end without contributing much.
3. In real fellowship people experience sympathy.
The main problem with this is that we are often in a hurry to fix things that we don't have time to sympathize with people.
4. In real fellowship people experience mercy.
Forgiveness forms a key factor.
However, very often, we find it very very difficult to forgive.
We must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends us.
Today, many people carry their grudges to church and well, some actually show it on their faces.
We do not need to trust the person immediately but we must forgive the person right away.
I'm always longing to have a deep sharing session with a couple of friends. I don't want a large group but maybe among friends about 2 to 3. In campus, I joined the Campus Crusade and we do have some time together everyweek. But I think we haven't reach the 'standard' yet.
In church, I feel that the fellowship size is much too big for real sharing sessions. The bible study groups are too large and we have too little time. On saturadays, I feel that the majority of the time is spent on another kind of service format - sermon, praises, prayers... Bible study sessions are much too little and we do not have much chance to learn about each other. Time is always the limiting factor. I feel that when it comes to sharing, time should not be the restricting factor. The restricting factor should be on whether individuals are willing to share, and how much they are willing to share.
Well, I guess that is why fellowship doesn't really seem to 'appeal' to me. To me, I feel that it's just another Sunday afternoon...attending service.
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