For a long time...
I realised I haven't been online for a long time.
Well, it is not surprising considering that I spent my Mondays-Wednesdays at Jurong house and when I'm home, I'm just too tired to blog. However, I have been visiting Jeff Chang's blog regularly, feeding on it like daily bread. But he hasn't been blogging since Christmas as well.
Since I have not been blogging, people has also stopped visiting my website. I can now write freely without offending anyone, I guess...
Today is Emilyn's birthday, and as usual, I wish I wasn't at home. My mom is throwing her kid temper again because we left her out for dinner and forgot to buy her a piece of cake. Come to think of it, I can't really remember anything of her saying to buy cake. My memory must be getting the better of me. So of course, it is cold war again at home. I have even apologised to her already. (I'm surprised at myself for I rarely open my mouth to say sorry - must be my pride and face). Well, the more said, the more trouble comes. Now, I'm been reprimanded for not attending Thursdays prayer meetings. Okay, frankly speaking, I detest going to prayer meetings because they are really boring. You stand there and pray for about an hour, then hearing the speaker talks for an hour or so. My prayer life has totally become stagnant and I can't find anything to pray about. Pls don't misunderstand me... I do love God and I am not anti-Christ. But I feel myself more and more anti-church. (Maybe it's anti-my-church). Then I see Pastor Ong everyweek, it makes me sick. It's like, his strict and no-nonsense attitude makes the whole church-going boring and worst. The more I'm being forced to go to prayer meetings, the more I hate them.
Now, I don't enjoy going on Sundays as well. The choir is simply not growing with such irregular attendence and ... I'm not exactly sure what are the choir members' attitude towards their serving in the choir. I know some of them are busy with work and school classes but must you necessary skip choir to revise your work or do project? Can you arrange project on another day? I used to turn down all my friends meetings because it falls on Sunday. Now, they never called me out whenever they meet on Sundays (and most of the times, they meet on Sundays). Pathetic.
And what do these people think? You are serving, for goodness sake! You don't come and go as and when you like. Have the basic courtesy to tell the person-in-charge that you will be absent. When I print 15 copies, nobody turns up. When I print 10 copies, everybody turns up then people start complaining no scores or waste time going to the copier room. If you are busy with work, take a few weeks break. At least, we know you won't turn up and won't waste time waiting for you.
I like to sing more than I play the piano because my piano skills are not that good. Nowadays, I don't even feel like playing anymore. My piano just stand there at one corner, waiting to rust. But I don't really get a chance to sing and my vocal range is heading down. My voice quality is suffering as well. I really hope to leave but I guess I don't have the courage to fight my mom's constant nagging. Been looking for classes to join but they are way too expensive. Perhaps, in a year's time, I can re-consider again.
The children on Saturdays are not any better. I simply don't know how to handle them and they simply are not enjoying themselves. I have not idea how to liven up the one hour. If I bring too "rock" songs, will I be scolded by the Church? Probably going to end up as an outcast.
What's worst - Jianyong is not joining me in church. Well, okay, he is here physically not somehow he is still faraway. He sleeps in service, complains to me about Melody and the church people. Well, I know they are true but I feel bad hearing all these from him. And of course, mom is furious about all these. She says he is polluting my mind and affecting my serving, so I should just break up with him. I did think about breaking up with him. Well, coz I do not see any hopes in this near future that he will be converted and baptised. So, I feel like I'm wasting my time away.
I'm coming to 24 and still getting mother-pecked (if there's ever such a word). When will I ever get free?
When will they ever understand that forcing someone to do things that she don't like to practically driving her up the wall? Esp if it is the coward type of people who daren't say what they feel openly... it is practically murder!
Yes, I'm getting fatter and I'm hoping a change in these few months. Strange how work stress can never cause me to lose weight. In fact, I feel more hungry and eat more than before.
Well, it is not surprising considering that I spent my Mondays-Wednesdays at Jurong house and when I'm home, I'm just too tired to blog. However, I have been visiting Jeff Chang's blog regularly, feeding on it like daily bread. But he hasn't been blogging since Christmas as well.
Since I have not been blogging, people has also stopped visiting my website. I can now write freely without offending anyone, I guess...
Today is Emilyn's birthday, and as usual, I wish I wasn't at home. My mom is throwing her kid temper again because we left her out for dinner and forgot to buy her a piece of cake. Come to think of it, I can't really remember anything of her saying to buy cake. My memory must be getting the better of me. So of course, it is cold war again at home. I have even apologised to her already. (I'm surprised at myself for I rarely open my mouth to say sorry - must be my pride and face). Well, the more said, the more trouble comes. Now, I'm been reprimanded for not attending Thursdays prayer meetings. Okay, frankly speaking, I detest going to prayer meetings because they are really boring. You stand there and pray for about an hour, then hearing the speaker talks for an hour or so. My prayer life has totally become stagnant and I can't find anything to pray about. Pls don't misunderstand me... I do love God and I am not anti-Christ. But I feel myself more and more anti-church. (Maybe it's anti-my-church). Then I see Pastor Ong everyweek, it makes me sick. It's like, his strict and no-nonsense attitude makes the whole church-going boring and worst. The more I'm being forced to go to prayer meetings, the more I hate them.
Now, I don't enjoy going on Sundays as well. The choir is simply not growing with such irregular attendence and ... I'm not exactly sure what are the choir members' attitude towards their serving in the choir. I know some of them are busy with work and school classes but must you necessary skip choir to revise your work or do project? Can you arrange project on another day? I used to turn down all my friends meetings because it falls on Sunday. Now, they never called me out whenever they meet on Sundays (and most of the times, they meet on Sundays). Pathetic.
And what do these people think? You are serving, for goodness sake! You don't come and go as and when you like. Have the basic courtesy to tell the person-in-charge that you will be absent. When I print 15 copies, nobody turns up. When I print 10 copies, everybody turns up then people start complaining no scores or waste time going to the copier room. If you are busy with work, take a few weeks break. At least, we know you won't turn up and won't waste time waiting for you.
I like to sing more than I play the piano because my piano skills are not that good. Nowadays, I don't even feel like playing anymore. My piano just stand there at one corner, waiting to rust. But I don't really get a chance to sing and my vocal range is heading down. My voice quality is suffering as well. I really hope to leave but I guess I don't have the courage to fight my mom's constant nagging. Been looking for classes to join but they are way too expensive. Perhaps, in a year's time, I can re-consider again.
The children on Saturdays are not any better. I simply don't know how to handle them and they simply are not enjoying themselves. I have not idea how to liven up the one hour. If I bring too "rock" songs, will I be scolded by the Church? Probably going to end up as an outcast.
What's worst - Jianyong is not joining me in church. Well, okay, he is here physically not somehow he is still faraway. He sleeps in service, complains to me about Melody and the church people. Well, I know they are true but I feel bad hearing all these from him. And of course, mom is furious about all these. She says he is polluting my mind and affecting my serving, so I should just break up with him. I did think about breaking up with him. Well, coz I do not see any hopes in this near future that he will be converted and baptised. So, I feel like I'm wasting my time away.
I'm coming to 24 and still getting mother-pecked (if there's ever such a word). When will I ever get free?
When will they ever understand that forcing someone to do things that she don't like to practically driving her up the wall? Esp if it is the coward type of people who daren't say what they feel openly... it is practically murder!
Yes, I'm getting fatter and I'm hoping a change in these few months. Strange how work stress can never cause me to lose weight. In fact, I feel more hungry and eat more than before.
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